Simple Daily Practices to Strengthen Your Authentic Power and Ease Your Transition to a Purpose-led Life.
You’re on an authentic path and you’re doing your best to live every day in the more expansive, loving, inspired, state of consciousness your heart is longing for. You know that keeping your mind, emotions and energy clear and vital is the foundation for a fulfilling and purpose-led life. And you may have a lifetime’s skills in self-healing. But in our fast-changing, unpredictable world, it isn’t always easy, to shift out of low moods, is it? For many of us bad news from the world creates an endless stream of anxiety and meeting the demands of each day can feel like an unbearable stretch.
I’ve been working as a whole-person therapist and professional development trainer for 40 years and I’ve never seen people as stressed as they are today. Even if you have a lifetime’s skills in self-healing, when you’re feeling stressed, exhausted and disheartened, making positive choices can feel like an overwhelming effort. What’s more, stress isolates and you begin to doubt yourself and think there’s something wrong with you.
I’m sure I don’t need to explain the causes of stress in our world today – the whole planet is stressed in so many different ways – but I will remind you of some of the common symptoms of early stress which can easily be overlooked. I’ll also explore how stress is an intrinsic part of the transformational process and how you can understand it as a catalyst for growth that can pave the way to enhanced confidence and resilience.
We’ll explore common ineffective strategies that people resort to, and a gentle, step-by-step approach to transforming stress into a powerful ally.
Here’s How You May Feel When You’re Stressed
When stress takes hold, your whole being contracts and becomes tense and rigid, leaving less room for energy to flow through you. Your mind, body and emotions shift into survival mode and, the neocortex – the part of the brain responsible for higher consciousness, shuts down. This cuts you off from your usual resourcefulness and you lose sight of the bigger, more inspiring picture that normally keeps you buoyed up.
Emotionally and Psychologically, You May Feel:
closed down, closed in, claustrophobic, isolated,
unloved, disconnected, cut off,
hopeless, lethargic, irritable, intolerant,
lost, unmotivated, lacking, limited, disappointed, a failure,
afraid, anxious, uninspired, empty, alienated, suspicious,
overwhelmed by mood swings, unable to move forward.
Some Other Early Signs of Stress:
- Physical Symptoms: Tension headaches, muscle tightness or pain, fatigue or low energy, changes in appetite (increased or decreased);
- Cognitive Signs: Difficulty concentrating or focusing, memory problems, negative thinking or pessimism, indecisiveness.
- Behavioral Changes: Withdrawal from social activities or relationships, changes in sleep patterns (insomnia or oversleeping); increased use of substances (alcohol, caffeine, etc.); neglecting responsibilities or procrastinating;
- Changes in Motivation: Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed; decreased productivity or performance at work or school
- Gastrointestinal Issues: Stomachaches, nausea, or digestive problems, changes in bowel habits (diarrhea or constipation)
Recognizing these early signs is the first step to supporting yourself through stress effectively before it becomes chronic.
If you’re losing touch with the meaning, purpose and direction of your life and you’ve lost the motivation to do the simple things you know would nourish you, this is a really good moment to make an intentional choice to nurture yourself.
Three Common Strategies to Combat Stress and Why They Don’t Solve the Problem.
In survival mode we resort to old comfort-zone strategies that we’ve been using for a lifetime, which have never been successful and never will be. This further undermines confidence and motivation.
Strategy 1: Ignore it and Hope it Will Go Away
I’m sure we’re all familiar with this strategy. Stress has become such a normal part of life, we barely notice it. Beneath the stress, fear is driving us and it’s uncomfortable to feel our fear, to admit we feel powerless in the face of it, and we don’t know what to do. It’s easier to be distracted and there are plenty of ways to do that – social media, compulsively reading the news on your phone, video games, shopping, comfort eating, or sleeping a lot, for example. The trouble is, as I’m sure you know, when you don’t face it, stress doesn’t go away; it may get worse and produce all sorts of physical symptoms, like rashes, headaches and digestive problems, or mental and emotional problems such as depression.
The medicine for avoidance and denial is to become present and feel your feelings, however uncomfortable. When you stay present with a particular feeling – say, anger – and you pay attention to the energy in your body and not the thoughts attached to it – you will notice your energy changes and begins to flow. Stress freezes feelings and bombards us with old, repetitive, fearful thoughts. Your feelings are powerful messengers and when you pay them attention, set them free and listen to them, they will bring back your vitality.
Strategy 2: Try Harder
When we admit we’re not coping or enjoying life, we tend to see this as a failure. We double our efforts – work harder, keep trying to fix other people’s problems so we can feel useful and needed, or we fill every moment with busyness and commitments. Although this strategy may bring temporary relief it can also drive us deeper into burn-out, overwhelm and feelings of emptiness.
The medicine for trying hard is to become still and quiet and make space for presence and deep attentive listening.
Strategy 3: Suppress it
This is so common. When something’s bothering us we shift our mood and make ourselves numb so that we don’t have to feel it – cigarettes, a glass of wine, recreational drugs, sweet stodgy food. This strategy may bring temporary relief and pleasure but it’s likely to further undermine well-being and confidence when our mood drops again.
The medicine for using substances to take the edge off your anxiety is to stop and feel into what you really need. Instead of a bar of chocolate perhaps you want to go outside and smell the sweetness of the roses. Instead of smoking a cigarette perhaps you need to talk to a friend?
With these three strategies there’s a repeated pattern of relief, followed by more disheartenment. There may be short-term comfort or pleasure – a temporary high of some sort, followed by contraction – irritation, pain, emptiness, self-doubt, low mood and isolation.
If the outer world is impacting you negatively and pulling you off purpose, this is an opportunity to develop skills which will help you to align with what is true and strong within you so that you can maintain inner peace and vitality, wherever you are and whatever is happening around you.
Replace Comfort Zone Strategies with the Process of Transformation
Strategy Four: Going away on Retreat
Strategy four moves us into solution-focused action, and towards healing, relaxation, expansion and well-being. But it still falls short of being a sustainable strategy, unless you have the time and the money to go away on retreat frequently.
You may love to take off to a beautiful place where all you have to do is relax and focus on your own well-being. You return home refreshed, rejuvenated and deeply at peace. But all too quickly, daily life with all its demands crowds in and your beautiful, inspired peace fades away.
I’ve been on many meditation retreats and participated in powerful transformative group experiences, and I’ve headed off alone to wild and beautiful landscapes to enjoy solitude and space. When I relax in a stress-free environment, I connect with an uplifting and inspiring energy. Many times, I’ve felt I was seeing with new eyes, hearing with new ears, that all my senses were more acute, including my intuition. I had faster and clearer access to my wisdom and inner knowing. I was seeing from a bigger perspective, and everything suddenly made sense. I touched states of wild joy, ecstasy, deep peace and love, I felt connected with everything and everyone, highly motivated and on purpose.
I ‘ve loved being in the deep and expanded energy a good retreat provides but when I returned home, I found all the causes of stress were waiting for me and I often felt even more painfully isolated, alienated and inadequate than before. I couldn’t understand why the good feelings didn’t last. I was participating in communities of therapists and spiritual seekers but there was never a great deal of support for understanding the process of transformation.
Later, when I started to study the process of transformation and how to work with it, I realised that the more expanded consciousness and inspiring energy which we open to when we’re deeply relaxed, touches every part of our being and shines its light on those parts of us that are not functioning so well. The more we open and expand the more the old patterns, that keep us limited and no longer serve us, are shaken and deconstructed. That’s exactly what’s needed to make space for new more flexible thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
You can assist the melting away of old restricting patterns and the emergence of new patterns which will support your authentic, purpose-led life by creating your own inner soul sanctuary within which the butterfly of your future self can grow and fly free.
When you recognise you’re in a transformational process you have the choice to co-operate with it and to practice maintaining expanded consciousness. That’s how you strengthen your authentic power.
Adopt a Gentle, Step-by-Step Practice
Even in a dysfunctional and disordered world, such as ours is right now, it is possible to live in a stable state of wholeness and there is a way out of the dark moods that cloud your days.
As I became more practiced with co-operating with the process of transformation, I realised that adopting a simple daily practice helps to make those beautiful expansive feelings of wholeness into a sustainable reality. For example, I meditated every day for sixteen years. What could be more simple than sitting alone doing nothing? I’ve also used writing as a transformational tool for many years and this opens me to inspiration. You may have a daily yoga practice or enjoy wild swimming. The important thing is to choose a practice that works for you, that brings you present in your body, and then show up for it every day. This daily commitment and repetition builds your transformational muscles, your confidence, self-esteem and inner resilience. These activities also bring you into meaningful connection with others – in addition to my solitary meditation practice I also joined meditation groups and spiritual communities and this led me into years of study and to some of the most amazing experiences of my life.
Step One: Recognise and Own Your Stress
As soon as you say, “This is stress, I am experiencing stress”, a window opens and you are freed to make different choices. Just that recognition creates relief and movement. That’s what has brought you to this page – you know you have a problem and you’re on your way to finding a solution.
Step 2: Remember Wholeness is Already Here Within You and it is Your Natural State
If you’ve experienced the inspired, joyful consciousness I’m talking about, use it as a beacon. “That is how I want to feel. That is who I choose to be.”
You have a constant source of love, strength and sustenance within you and when you make space to connect with your inner wisdom every day you will discover an abundant wellspring. Gentle and sustainable positive change will arise naturally as you build your skills, confidence and momentum. Then you will move forward with ease in the direction that is true for you.
Step 3: Take Small Steps Every Day in Your Chosen Direction.
To break free of stress all you need to do is focus on your next step, the step you will take today. Through repeated small choices to make space for yourself, for 20-30 minutes each day, you can create an inner space of self-care and self-nurturing and train your mind into new healthy patterns. As you build a rhythm of daily practice, you will create a peaceful retreat space within you and carry it with you, every day, wherever you go. Then, no matter what is going on around you, you know you’ll always feel safe and free.
Step 4: Make Space Every Day to Connect with Your Inner Wisdom
When you make space and show up every day to connect with your own wisdom you communicate to your Soul – your inner healer and the holder of your purpose and passion – that you are ready and willing to expand into your highest potential, to love yourself into wholeness and to receive the joy that comes when you know you are giving the unique gifts that only you can give.
Choice + intention + showing up every day with an experimental mindset, will build your transformational muscles and lead to a purpose-led life.
Take Your Next Step Now
Congratulations for having got this far! When you’re feeling stressed taking the first step is the hardest. By being here you have taken several steps – you’ve acknowledged that you’re stressed and you’ve begun to search for a solution. If you resonate with what I’m saying there are three. additional steps you can take now:
- Get your gift of my guidebook, Sanctuary, Your Quest for Inner Peace and Belonging
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